State Ranker Essay Tips: How to Write a PEEL Paragraph

1Why structure matters

Success in HSC English undoubtedly requires students to be able to synthesise numerous effective arguments that each skillfully respond to the given examination question. Providing markers with dense conceptual material that enable them to grip their teeth into your paragraphs is perhaps one of the most important determinants of success in the essay component of the English HSC (and arguably the short answer section as well).

Yet, an aspect of this process which many students tend to overlook is the structural dimension of paragraph-building, often resulting in a jumbled and incoherent mess of thematic analysis devoid of a fixed backbone to strengthen their claims. As such, in order to perform well in your essays, you not only need to be able to create complex yet clear conceptual arguments that impress markers, but you also need to distill these arguments in a clear and understandable format.

The infamous PEEL paragraph structure is probably the safest method of approach that students should utilise. In saying this, it is important to note that PEEL is not the only scaffold out there to exist and follow. From personal experience, implementing a general paragraph scaffold is good to provide your essay with a sense of structural coherence, but after familiarising yourself with the content of your own response and getting comfortable with your essay, you are (and I encourage) more than welcome to finesse and refine elements of your essay that might deviate away from the conventional matrix. As long as clarity is maintained and the focal point of your arguments are not lost, individualising your essay and embellishing it with additional statements that add some flair to it (that truly make it yours) is something which the markers will appreciate (especially when they are slogging through hundreds of essays that look the exact same on a Friday night when they would much rather be indulging in the latest episode of 'The Bachelorette').

So, what exactly is the PEEL structure and what does it look like? As you may have already seen in our blog post ‘How to Write a Full mark essay in Yr 7-12 (tips from a James Ruse Graduate)’, we introduce our students to the following fool-proof structure from the very first week of Year 7!

2What PEEL stands for

P – Point (or topic sentence): This is essentially a conceptual statement that captures the central idea of your argument and that engages with the question, and which will be explored and proven in the paragraph.

E – Evidence: This is an example from your text that proves your point (e.g., a film scene or quote from your book).

E – Explanation (or analysis): Analysis basically involves an intricate deconstruction of the evidence you have just provided, where you explain to the marker the significance of the example in relation to your overarching argument, as well as the question. I usually like to split the analysis component into two distinct strands – technical and conceptual. Technical analysis basically refers to the identification of the literary device/s being employed by the composer, whereas conceptual analysis entails a thematic dissection of how the piece of evidence communicates a greater message to the audience (basically how it shows the concept you are arguing about).

L – Link back: Effectively, this is a statement which wraps up your whole paragraph and succinctly connects your argument back to the question. No need for adornments – keep it simple, clear and straight to the point so that you can transition into your next paragraph.

Note, however, that you will be alternating back and forth between your evidence and explanation about 3-4 times every paragraph since you will need 3-4 pieces of evidence and analysis in order to sustain a solid paragraph. Thus, a more accurate acronym would look more like PEEEEEEEEL (but, for simplicity's sake, lets just keep it PEEL).

3A state-ranking exemplar

With all of the theoretical components out of the way, let's examine what a successful PEEL paragraph looks like using a state-ranking exemplar. Note that this is a common approach our tutors have during class time, as showing students a concrete example of what's expected to get full marks is one of the most valuable learning tools.

Point

Doerr promulgates how in the midst of historical moments suspended in entropy, one's social duties can supersede moral conscience and render silent character agency, leading to the individual's realisation of their moral bankruptcy.

Above is a good example of what a clear topic sentence looks like. Here, the topic sentence carefully balances the argument and concept and does not over-compensate by providing too much unnecessary details. We know exactly what the paragraph will be about, which is proving that during moments of tension in history (political, cultural, social etc.), individuals are often driven by a propensity to honour their social bonuses as opposed to fulfilling their conscience (even if it is the right thing to do!), which subsequently leads to negative and often daunting self-revelations.

As stated earlier, you can always slightly deviate away from the PEEL matrix, and in this example paragraph, the topic sentence was succeeded by a quick contextual statement that linked nicely to the Texts and Human Experiences module, and a quick statement about how this idea was going to be proven in the text, and hence framed the argument a bit more effectively:

A digression from conventional metanarratives concerning the vilification of Nazis, Doerr fosters a more nuanced discourse on moral ambiguity through his postmodernist approach in exploring the destructive forces of war upon one's conscience, broadening the deeply entrenched axioms cushioning the literary portrayal of one's experiences during WWII. Such concern is rendered best through the protagonist Werner, whose inability to reconcile the constraints exerted by the social dictates of his external reality, with his opposing, personal ideals, renders him incapable of manifesting his true identity.

Example 1 and Explanation 1

Werner's conflicting experience evoked through binary language: "Every part of him wants to scream: is this not wrong? But here it is right," illustrates how his moral discord deprives him of the ability to achieve authentic self-assertion, for he must resort to a socially engineered veneer that is "perfected for the Reich", yet tantamount to the loss of identity. A testament to human frailty, the introspective question emulates the pervading doubt that tantalises both Werner, and the collective consciousness of Nazi Germany. Doerr's hypophora further conveys how social constructs can suppress consciousness and force individuals into conforming to its mechanistic protocols.

As seen above, the evidence and analysis all link together to prove the point that we made at the beginning.

Example 2 and Explanation 2

Over time, this feigned behaviour perpetuates a negative, emotional turmoil, whereby the tension between Werner's exterior guise and internal sentiments gives rise to an existentially paralysing chaos. After being forced to kill a young girl, Werner's subconscious remains haunted by her "red dress", a metaphoric signal for his remorse and eternally scarred psyche. The ghost, as a dramatic device, further emblematises how he is haunted by the weight of his past. The jarring anaphora and disturbing visual imagery, "dead girl in the sky, dead girl out the window, dead girl three inches away," further accentuates the suffocating presence of his guilt, underscoring Werner's hyperattunement to his moral crumbling.

Example 3 and Explanation 3

In framing his moral devolution as derivative of his existence being metaphorically "subsumed by the engine of war", Doerr highlights the paradoxes of human behaviour by suggesting that humans are always bound by contradictions inflicted by the self, and that no individual is entirely depraved nor completely devoid of humanity.

Link back sentence

Cynically disgusted with the horrors of his actions, Doerr frames Werner's moral paralysis and regret as a byproduct of his encumbering, personal context, offering readers a vicarious experience through which they can empathise with Werner's internal struggles.

Ultimately, weaving together all of these distinct components together by using them as building blocks, will generate a solid paragraph – and that's how you construct a successful PEEL paragraph for your essays! However, this is not a skill you develop overnight. It requires countless amounts of drafts to continually refine your writing. And this is where our english tutors step in! For year 7-10 classes, students are required to do 2 PEEL paragraphs per week which our tutors mark and provide model answers for. This develops their sophistication for senior grades, where we help students refine their expression in their essays. Click here to have a watch of our essay writing seminar to learn more!

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